one day I realized that there is no simple solution to suffering, no discovery that promises to delete pain from our histories, our bodies, our Body. not the best prayer, most poignant quote or eloquent excerpt. for some, drugs can push it away. for others, the illusion of fullness, fueled by overconsumption. of purity, fed by food and fast. playing the piano can ease it, a little. praying almost always helps. smiling at someone does, too. talking with a soul-friend, breaking bread. searching scripture, yoga, journaling, the traditions have it down. but nothing makes it stop. loss hurts. disappointment is sparked as a possibility fades. suffering surrounds. I hurt, and people who love me cannot make it stop. people I love hurt, and I cannot make it stop

but then a poem is passed, and passed again. a prayer is uttered, somewhere, because someone, somewhere, is always uttering a prayer for the world.

gift…gratitude…grief…

please God, may I begin again?


so the words of marianne williamson are returned to me, with a mother's blessing:


"Dear God, please make of my life what You would have it be. Time and fate have twisted things I cannot strighten out alone. Dear God, may I begin again.
My body
my mind
my spirit
my love
my hate
my pain
my sorrows
my joy
my questions
my fears
my hopes
my visions
I give them all to you."

Amen.