from the nyt on the nashville shooting. (and why i am sad, sad, sad.)

Hate for Liberals and Gay People Drove Gunman, Police Say

By SHAILA DEWAN
Published: July 29, 2008
A man who the police say entered a Unitarian Universalist church in Knoxville, Tenn., on Sunday and shot eight people, killing two, was motivated by a hatred for liberals and gay people, Chief Sterling P. Owen IV of the Knoxville Police Department said Monday.

“It appears that what brought him to this horrible event was his lack of being able to obtain a job, his frustration over that, and his stated hatred for the liberal movement,” Chief Owen said of the suspect, Jim D. Adkisson, 58. “We have recovered a four-page letter in which he describes his feelings and the reason that he claims he committed these offenses.”

According to a search warrant for Mr. Adkisson’s house filed by the police, during interrogation Mr. Adkisson admitted to the shooting and said “he had targeted the church because of its liberal leanings and his belief that all liberals should be killed because they were ruining the country.”

Mr. Adkisson was not a member of the church and congregants said they did not recognize him, but two people said his former wife had once attended the church, Tennessee Valley Unitarian Universalist.

Mr. Adkisson was arrested at the scene and has been charged with one count of first-degree murder. More charges are expected, and Chief Owen said the police were treating the shooting as a hate crime.

The authorities and witnesses said the gunman, carrying a guitar case that concealed a 12-gauge shotgun, entered the church just as a children’s performance of “Annie Jr.” started.

Standing near the door of the sanctuary, he opened fire. Chief Owen said the man had fired only three blasts, but had 73 more rounds of ammunition with him. Mr. Adkisson’s letter indicated that he expected to be shot and killed by the police when they arrived, Chief Owen said, but church members tackled and subdued him.

“He certainly intended to take a lot of casualties,” Chief Owen said at a news conference Monday morning.

The Unitarian Universalist church has Protestant roots but embraces diverse opinions and creeds. “The theology is now considered beyond Christian,” said Janet Hayes, a spokeswoman for the Unitarian Universalist Association. The Knoxville church’s Web site says, “All religions, in every age and culture, possess not only intrinsic merit, but also potential value for those who have learned the art of listening.”

The church has been public in its embrace of liberal causes, advertising events like a summer sex education event for teenagers organized by Planned Parenthood and meetings of groups like Parents, Friends and Families of Lesbians and Gays. Since the 1950s, its Web site says, the church has worked for “desegregation, racial harmony, fair wages, women’s rights and gay rights,” and has taken on environmental causes.

Several church members, still shaken from the shooting, declined to comment extensively on the church’s liberal views. “It does clarify just what type of hate crime this was,” said Mark Harmon, a Knox County commissioner and member of the church. “Regardless of motivations, when someone comes into your house of worship and shoots a shotgun indiscriminately it’s an earth-shattering act of hatred.”

Karen Massey, a neighbor of Mr. Adkisson’s in Powell, Tenn., said he had been a considerate friend. “We hate what he’s done,” she said. “He just snapped. He didn’t give us any indication.”

Ms. Massey said Mr. Adkisson had been raised in a strict Christian home, was openly antigay and had complained to her about his childhood religion. “He said if you read the whole Bible, everything in it contradicts itself.”

Chief Owen said Mr. Adkisson had recently been notified that his monthly food stamp allotment would be reduced or discontinued.

Chief Owen said investigators had found only two records of criminal activity for Mr. Adkisson, both charges of driving while intoxicated. But in 2000, his former wife, Liza Alexander, asked for an order of protection against him, saying he had threatened to “blow my brains out and then blow his own brains out.”

The dead were identified as Linda Kraeger, 61, a visitor from another church, and Gregory McKendry Jr., 60, an usher who some witnesses said had used his body to shield others from the gunman.

yup. that about does it.

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

--Woody Allen

just as i feared...

...i have neglected yet one more possibility.

my fear that i might STOP blogging kept me, for years, from ever starting.

permission to mess up, to stop, to quit, to forget, had to be granted before i could begin.

so, rather than guilt or shame or any of those other sneaking forms of self destruction, i guess i'll just begin again.